The Cricket World Cup in 2011 is coming to India, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh. So from Kashmir to whatever it is beyond Kanyakumari everyone is super excited, here’s how the World Cup affected the people in this country and beyond.
Every major magazine, or TV, or website is asking for predictions on who will win the world cup this year. One of my friend from Patna recently told me about a goat that predicts Which team will win a match. Last Saturday, it predicted the local Galli Cricket Match between Gullu’s and Bittu’s team. Both of them wrote their team’s name down on the road and gave Hasmukh ( the goat) something to eat, and then as the match was in progress, the goat Crapped on the name of Bittu’s team. Believe it or not Bittu’s team won as Rajan, the MLA’s kid beat the shit out of Gullu as he hit the ball for a six, and it fell on Rajan’s head. The match was automatically forwarded to Bittu, as he danced away to glory with a bhojpuri song in the backdrop. And we found Our New Hero, after Octopus Paul (O,P) we found Goat Hasmukh (G,H) to lead us through the unknown…
With the World Cup Going On, security is a big concern. But the Kochi IPL franchise has out an end to the worries of the Cricketing authorities by offering their whole IPL team to perform security measures. In fact, it was only the reason behind naming their team the “INDI COMMANDOS” , stating that they provide commando class security…. Pamphlets with the image Below On them were recovered from the streets of Kochi.
In other news, Eden Gardens were Deprived of hosting the only Indian match in the City of Kolkata. However to boost Income rates, CAB has planned on hosting a match on the same day with Sourav Ganguly in it. That is gonna be a match between the Bengal Ranji Team and the Tollywood actors, who for a lot of years had nothing to do except going to events. Tapas Pal, a popular Bengali Film Actor has Told us that Dada would be seen spinning his shirt around once again as that will draw more crowd into Eden Gardens.
However, ICC has other tactics, according to calculations by Hasmukh, the Goat, the final match will be interfered by the Mumbai underworld mafias and will be later declared as a rigged match. However when we asked Munna Bhai to Comment on it, he instantly denied everything. He said and I quote “Underworld Loves Cricket, we won’t do anything like that. Besides we are smart criminals, we would never bet on a cricket match with this much high attention, we would rather bet on that Bengal match organised by CAB.”
On the Entertainment front, Sonu Nigam sounded exciting at the opening Ceremony, as his thrilling voice left everyone wondering about his Gender. Rakhi Sawant was also approached to do a dance item in the opening ceremony, but she turned down the offer in view of the latest TV ad of Tata Sky, that made her aware that Bablu Can see from 4 different angles. At the opening Ceremony however, South India was represented by one of those God awful songs and for this very reason the classical Karnatic Musicians organized a protest against that lady who gave Bablu all the angles to look at while dancing.
According to media Reports, the most sold jersey is the Indian Jersey with Harbhajan’s name on it. Australian nationals were seen buying all of them on a future plan to go back and tell their grandsons that they killed Harbhajan while they were in India and as proof brought his Jersey.
Varanasi is crowded up and everybody is praying for Sachin and organizing Pujas. Sachin asked them to Organize a Pindi for him while they are at it. The charges for the priest have gone incredibly high. It is highly unsuitable time for your hindu rituals, for you might have to pay triple for it.
In the end, everyone is waiting for India’s night at the finals in Mumbai. That ought to be India’s night, cause with Sharad Pawar in a Powerful seat in ICC, and the world cup in India, it would be a riot otherwise.
P.S. All this stated above is pure Bullshit, which replicates the Desi Pagalpanti for Cricket World Cup! 🙂 It has sarcastic similarities to the truth.