Originally written for the February Edition of Epigram Magazine, this post is the raw version, which was not edited.

Criminal minds believe in one rule and one rule only, that Stealing is an art as long as you dont get caught. That implies on school kids too who cheat their way through good results in exams.

Corrupts and Criminals are just brothers from different mothers. Criminals and school kids believe in one rule, but corrupts dont even have one. Cause the Job they do involves face to face transactions, so that leaves enough evidence to be caught. So their only options left is protection. Protection from people who seek the truth, and want to know what is going on Under the the Table.

Grrrr! The Stupid people who are just jealous of the government post the Corrupt Politician/ Govt. employee got and they just want their hands on the post.

Men will be Men, and people will be people. So when one corrupt politician goes another one comes to the same position to suck on some more of Common Wealth.

Now,I just said Common Wealth, didnt I? Well, it was just because yeah you know, the man who used all the Common mans wealth for 1000 bucks worth of toilet paper rolls.

Do you know that Suresh Kalmadi must have taken advice from KRK on how to use expensive things, since his milk comes from China or whatever. Actually India never had this much amount of money to spend in some event. Indian politicians so had their only chance to make it officially a corrupt CWG games. Even Wikipedia has Corruption Charges in their official page for the 2010 CWG games.

Now, you use 1000 bucks of toilet paper for a game village which is worth nothing. The poor condition of the games village was to show the athletes that Indian people live in these types of poor conditions. Just to make them feel a little bit at India. You can not blame Kalmadi for that, No Sir!  He just wanted them to feel the essence of India.

Im sure you have heard enough of the CWG scams by now, with Arnab from Times Now screaming his lungs out for every cause he can find. The updated version of the annoying Aaj Tak is what you can call them. Anyways they told us about some other things also, the sweet Handset you are using worth some thousand bucks, that did not come free also. Apparently A.Raja took a lot of money for giving 2G spectrum licenses.

Do you know how many Zeros are there in 1.76 Lakh Crore Rupees? I was weak at maths, but A.Raja must have been very good at maths to launder an amount that big.

I want to ask Abhishek Bachhan one thing, How much did the IDEA people pay for the 2G spectrum license and in my dreams I imagine him giving the answer – No Idea. And then with an usual grin on my face I would say – Then Get Idea.

Oh, and do you watch TV, no not the NEWS… the real stuff, the IPLs and all…if you do, you would know about Lalit Modi and know how he gained from the most entertaining sports event in India.

Well, the big boys will be big boys, but what about the small fishes that swim in the ocean and get forgotten. Like your local traffic police, who collects the funding for his late night parties by collecting bribes from the trucks and eventually getting the roads jammed.

The Biker boys you see hanging in front of the alley, they know how much a traffic police will take (not fine) for not wearing helmets or rough driving. They can tell by the faces, they would not spend 100 rs. for a settlement that can be achieved for a lousy 50.

After all bribes and corruption is an art also, and this art involves higher levels of intelligence and risks. These biker boys have mastered the art of corruption and so did government employees. Treaties are inside Indian blood, if you look at history our independence was conditional,  a treaty perhaps, an adjustment for better standards of living. From that moment on we are adjusting to the circumstances. Be it under-wears or seats in local trains or long traffic Jams in Delhi, we are still adjusting. So in a few decades we will also adjust to the corruption, after all its the settlement, which is the quickest process to avoid harassment.

With the government in hand, Big Boys like A.Raja and Kalmadi bhai raised the bar for corruption in India. It has eventualy become a billion Dollar industry. I just wish they had more of Russian Mobsters looks, which would help us identify the villains industrialists of the nation.

And no, sipping Tata Tea would not help you get corruption off India if that is what you are thinking. Drinking Tata tea will just make the pockets of Ratan Tata heavier. And why would you think about getting corruption off India? It is the industry our country is being built upon. Give peace a chance and the mango people will digest the whole thing in a decade or so. Till then, well just to show off, lets have the Tata Tea that is after all getting cold.

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