No I am not reviewing the 2012 movie here, you can be sure about that. Being a paranoid being I tend to see and feel the signs that lead me towards my destinations. These signs have been telling me that the world is going to die a pathetic death. Here are the top 10 signs I was ordered to tell you as per Lord’s wish.
10. The Musical Death
With Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber buzzing all around the world in the iPods of 16 year old blond teenage girls its sure as hell that the world is gonna die a slow painful musical death. If i start talking about Justin Bieber, I’d just say that a 16 year old girl(/boy) should not sing songs an fill the world with her crappy music and lesbian fans unless she’s a prodigy. And fortunately JB you are not a prodigy. And dear Reader if you think I made a Gender mistake by referring JB as a “She” instead of “he”…. think again…after seeing the picture below
And Lady Gaga.. Well, Lets say I could even tolerate Bieber but Gaga is too much Gaga for this world. Maybe someday Gaga will try to wear an outfit full of Hydrogen Bombs..and maybe we will all explode that day. I think all the sores should have a lady Gaga collection where they should stitch every piece of cloth/plastic they find and they’ll have a perfectly Gaga dress. Its a shame and for me … leading to the death of music.
9. Death of The TV
With programs like ‘The Jersey Shore’ getting TRP.. we are doomed.. We just discussed Jb’s popularity.. Imagine every girl of Gen Z trying to act like Snooki or each guy acting like ‘The Situation’. Damn.. I just took their pet names.. Gotta wash myself with GangaJal. Thank God we still have Southpark. Thank God They made this –
And in Indian news the big fake house of emotions is back. People are pissing themselves off with Khali amongst them.. they are crying for nothing. Underpayed actresses are screaming their lungs out to be heard again.. and we are dying a very slow death of the mind.
8. The Chinese Invasion
At the rate of which china is increasing in population and expanding their borders, that day is not far when they will try to conquer the world with the largest human forces in this world. China the next superpower if conquers the world then this guant world will soon turn into one big Chinese product. And we all know the quick rate of disposal of Chinese products.
7. The Twitter Whale
Also, another big sign for the end of the world is the limit less appearance of the twitter whale or the Fail Whale as we like to call it. The picture has started to make people frustrated and Whales are on the top of the Jokes and that’s why whales are frustrated too.
As a reason whales are committing suicide which is slowly leading to Massive imbalance in the oceanic Eco-system. That is causing the eco-system to collapse which will eventually cost our existance.
6. The Facebook Message
Another Disgusting thing.. The FB texts. They say that Facebook has a population just next to India and china. With so many people on facebook, everybody has subscribed themselves with facebook sms alerts. Now, it has almost happened to me, this FB thing can Kill. I saw this sign when I was in a Shared auto and I was sitting at the side seat. My cell phone was vibrating. Without looking at anything.. I tried to pick it up and there was something in front of the auto and the driver had to pull breaks which almost threw me out of the auto and into the road and eventually get killed. But the situation can get worse. You can find throwing yourself from a 30 stored building, FB texts can disturb you in local train lines and you could just take a wrong turn and end up in the freaking dessert.. you’d not understand anything as FB is addictive as hell.
5. The Local Trains
They say our local trains will be replaced by mono rails soon enough. Soon we’ll be traveling at the speed of sound. Now I don’t wanna sound harsh but Mumbai and Kolkata locals aren’t so different.At office time the number of people inside a compartment is twice the number that should be inside a train for people to breathe right. Anyways, that’s the reason behind so many railway accidents in recent times. Now imagine packed up people in Mono Rail. People have already started to die, with Mono Rail coming, that’s gonna be a boost to the death pool, and in an awesome way will bring the Death Rate higher than the birth rate.
4. The “Suresh Kalmadi”
Oh no. Not that man! What was I thinking. That man couldn’t be responsible for everything. He has already taken the charges against him in C.W.G. I’ll give him some space and not talk about him cause he’s already got the world in his shoulders.
3. The Bolly Copy Cats
I donno why we’re still not dead yet, cause as far as I am concerned I’m seeing this sign or ages and I think that we deserve to die in the third world war over entertainment. Bollywood has been ripping off ideas from Hollywood, even before I was born. These inspirational works by the creative minds of Bollywood would infuriate the fire in the minds of Hollywood Idealists, who as well are making some pretty boring movies just to see what bollywood copies. But Bollywood brilliants are a step ahead, they take up the story and watch some old Soaps and match a twist of the soap to the original story and Voila! 🙂 I’m sure the third world war is gonna be for the copyrights and thankfully only dumb models and gay fashion designers will fight for the army of Movie Directors.
2. Special Calls From Service providers
If you own a cell phone just for a specific purpose, you’d be annoyed to get multiple phone calls from different numbers which are actually recorded messages, and if in the process you do something wrong and press a button, you’d be charged an unknown amount of your hard earned cash for that. Now that’s just irritating, but it isn’t a world ending cause… that’s where you’re WRONG.
I see a day when people will travel in local trains and when they try to pick up a call from a stupid service provider automated system, I see him getting Smashed on a post. I see accidents in rail, buses etc due to this unwanted calls.
My secret senses also tell me that the corporate sector is planning for hypnotizing calls which will lure people and make them buy their products! What an Idea Sirji! I tell you there’s a reason for CIVIL war!
1. To Top It All Up, Have you SEEN the Size of a book for GRAD Students? :O
I was making assumptions that the world will not end. I was hoping for it not to end. But this was an obvious sign, this was obvious. We had to finish a 500 paged book in like 3 months time for the first odd semester. What a perfect way to learn things.
These books are killing budding young minds, these books are helping in De-evolution.
If you still don’t believe the World Is Ending, well maybe you are right…..
UNLESS Mojo-Jojo is hiding some where making hydrogen Bombs!