No, We Can’t


This Diwali a hurricane is gonna hit the Mumbai city, and the predictions are that this is the Longest visit of a hurricane like this. The Hurricane is none other than Mr. President Obama Bin Laden, the second powerful man in the world. The first would be Osama Bin Laden, his long lost brother in Kumbh ka mela with whom Mr. Obama Bin Laden hasn’t got a chance to meet yet, although he’s curious to meet him. Due to the growing sources of mine in the political carrier a friend of mine has supplied me full interview of him and Mr. Obama Bin Laden. Here’s how it went-

Q. Hey Mr. Obama, in a few days you will be in India to celebrate the Diwali, how do you feel about it?

Yes, in a few days I’ll be visiting the land of the intelligent people. I am feeling pretty happy about it. Actually India and America have a deep rooted relation, that’s deeply rooted into both of our cultures. We are suckers for their culture and they are suckers for our culture. So we both benefit from each other. And this time around I would like to visit the ground of Kumbh ka Mela where me and my brother from another mother Mr. Osama Bin Laden were separated.

Q. Now, I am curious what did you mean by intelligent people?

Don’t you know that half of my country is running on Indian intelligence. Since the alcohol and ample amount of sex has made our brain sloth like a lazy monkey….it is your magic turmeric spices that are still supplying intelligence to your brains, and being the largest economy with fat brains we are buying you people for cheaper price.

Q. Okay, Mr Obama .. I understand that you have a misconception about the spices of our country. Turmeric doesn’t really help brains to be intelligent.

What? You are questioning my intelligence? I know all about your country and its spices. And I know your one little secret too about how you get all those turbans. Anyone could have guessed that if you meditate the Om Mantra and say Namaste long enough a turban will automatically grow on your head. I even had Baba Ramev’s churan the last time I was sick, and I know everything he puts there, and turmeric is the basic thing in those. That has made me quite intelligent, and now I’m able to understand what’s really gonna happen in this world.

Q. I’m sure that Om mantra makes you grow turbans but Can we get an explanation ofΒ  your realization for the readers?

No, We can’t.

Q. I’m sorry… Can you not explain?

No idiot, that’s the tag phrase for the elections in November. How can you be an Indian and still be an Idiot? Don’t you eat turmeric?

Q. Actually I don’t have too much turmeric…but why this catch phrase.. why the full 180 degree change in tagline?

A year ago I thought I could change the world and then after having Ramdeb Baba’s churan for full 12 months I have come to realise that this world is a perfect place and it should be as it is now. All the third world countries with oil sources will be in our control and our oil sources will be secured. We should aid Pakistan more and more so we get a chance to visit Afghanistan more and more and destroy the country in search of Talibans who we ourselves had provoked one day. And I would get peace prizes by Nobel committee for doing nothing at all. That is our Destiny. So NO, WE CAN’T Change what’s happening.

Q. So that’s the view of Afghanistan and Pakistan, what do you people have in Store for India and China?

Both India and China are growing economy, I sure hope they will just be talking and raising fingers as long as Big Daddy Obama’s nation is the most powerful one. So as a mature country we’ll let them talk and talk and if they can’t solve it out we’ll take up the side of the country with lesser natural resources and destroy the other and take over the country with more natural resources.

Q. Well, now we are a bit frightened…

I assure you I’m the biggest cracker Indians are gonna See this Diwali.

Q. Anything else you wanna say to the readers?

Yes, stay hungry and intelligent like Indians should be. And come to USA just to be bought cheaper and used for the purpose of making us stronger. Eat a lot of turmeric and remember there’s really nothing you can do about your destiny.

And that’s how it ends.

P.S This is an imaginary dialogue between two imaginary persons. Any similarity between two characters are purely co-incidental or effect of bollywood films.

Have a Happy Diwali Mumbai!

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9 thoughts on “No, We Can’t

  1. I read this late. But this is brilliant! Americans tried their best to get patent for turmeric πŸ˜› they couldn’t of course… Obama isn’t trying anymore πŸ˜› you get the drift I guess.

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