If Bengalis Ruled The Internet

Call me regionally biased…I will be speechless..cause what I’m about to say is gonna change your thoughts about me.

In the due course of History..as biased as I am..I never found a Bengali ruler of India in any century at any time. Now I donno the reason, but I would like to imagine a space and time where Bengalis rule anything, I mean any freaking thing at all.

Lets say as we Bengalis never were the ruler types and hence never imposed bad things on people… we get a chance to rule the cyberspace, i.e. the internet. Now, I know that’s hard to imagine but you have to.

I can clearly see “Google” renaming itself to “GoGol” after being bengalianated. Gogol, is just a smart kid who can tell about almost every topic in the world within no time at all.

On Special occasions “GoGol” formerly known as Google will upload a new icon where the two “O” s of it will be replaced by prefectly round shaped Rosogollas. Umm….. Rosogolla…….. 😛

And I believe in my heart that Ebay will have nothing but Fish to sell for. Cause as Bengalis that’s the only useful thing we get from Bays. Be it Bay of Bengal or Ebay. If it is Bay… there has to be fish in it.

Orkut will obviously turn into Chirkut. And the less traffic flow in orkut will continue as only people falling under the category of “Chirkut” will only go there. Although that won’t be much of a difference. Cause even now only “Chirkuts” go there.

Twitter will be chitkaar (scream) , and Yahoo will turn into “Jeeo Mama” [Long Live Uncle] or “Pagla Kheer kha” [Eat the Kheer u Crazy Bum] Cause these are the only standard expressions in Bengali that represents the term “Yahoo” in true meaning of the joy that is associated with the term “yahoo”.

And the domain Names will be replaced from “.com” to “.Besi” as Kom in Bengali means Less and “Besi” means extra… the sites will be termed as “.besi” to give a hint that you can always find something extra in that site.

The dating sites will hide themselves on Valentine’s day..and flourish on “Saraswati Puja”.

And last but not the least… the net would be down for four full days during the Durga Puja. Cause no true bengali would go to work. None.

Oh I almost forgot, if Bengalis ruled internet there would be no server errors, but there will occur some incidents of unplanned holidays, when if you are lucky you could see a poster on your screen when you try to reach “GoGol”, that says “GoGol services are temporarily discontinued against not meeting the demands of certain union.”

Thank God we don’t rule anything!